You can’t change your fingerprints. You have only ten of them. And you leave them on everything you touch; they are definitely not a secret.
AL FRANKENI get satisfaction when I write something I like, when I’m happy with it.
More Al Franken Quotes
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It’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.
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Demagoguery sells. And therefore, radio stations will put it on. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t do something else and also make it sell.
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I do personal attacks only on people who specialize in personal attacks.
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Good schools for me to prepare myself for a career, and, if I worked hard and played by the rules, a chance for me to do anything I wanted.
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Technology is an incredible tool – it connects people to each other.
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The right wing has had a radio apparatus for years and years, so they’ve had minor leagues.
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You have to love your country like an adult loves somebody, not like a child loves its Mommy. And right-wing Republicans tend to love America like a child loves its Mommy, where everything Mommy does is okay.
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Antitrust law isn’t about protecting competing businesses from each other, it’s about protecting competition itself on behalf of the public.
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Grown-up love means actually understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad and helping your loved one grow.
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Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!
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I’m from the Vietnam generation. I didn’t serve.
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No one is more sensitive to the issue of overeating than the creator of Stuart Smalley.
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Service dogs raise their masters’ sense of well-being.
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I anticipate that Apple’s fingerprint reader will in fact make iPhone 5S owners more likely to secure their smartphones.
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If you use Facebook – as I do – Facebook in all likelihood has a unique digital file of your face, one that can be as accurate as a fingerprint and that can be used to identify you in a photo of a large crowd.
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I’m a perfectionist and if I start making changes, I’ll never stop.
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And we didn’t need to worry about foreign websites illegally distributing the latest TV shows and blockbuster movies online.
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Google might be doping the horses.
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Minnesotans lost their jobs because the credit rating agencies didn’t do the only job they’re supposed to have.
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I think there are all kinds of different hells. It’s not a place you go to after you die.
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If you use a cell phone – as I do – your wireless carrier likely has records about your physical movements going back months, if not years.
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My parents were really political. The news was very important in our home.
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I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.
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Terrorism, to me, is the use of terror for political purpose.
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The Founders who crafted our Constitution and Bill of Rights were careful to draft a Constitution of limited powers.
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It was hard for him to project who he is, the person people know in private.
AL FRANKEN