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You have to love your country like an adult loves somebody, not like a child loves its Mommy. And right-wing Republicans tend to love America like a child loves its Mommy, where everything Mommy does is okay.

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Compared to the American public at large, probably a slightly higher percentage of journalists, because of thier enhanced power of discernment, realize they know a gay person or two, and are, therefore, less frightened of them.
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Progressives, in a way, are the new conservatives. We want to conserve what we fought to build.
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I do have a self-censor; everybody does, or at least most who are not pathological do.
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They’ve had local rightwing guys who’ve become national rightwing guys, and who build slowly, and that’s how it goes. We haven’t had that. It isn’t like we have a farm team.
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My dad never graduated high school. He was a printing salesman.
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I felt like the luckiest kid in the world. And I was. I was growing up middle-class in a time when growing up middle-class in America meant there would be jobs for my parents.
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They’re trying to pay for health care and send their kids to college, they’re worried about declining home values, they’re scared for a loved one they have serving in Iraq.
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Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!
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For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.
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You might not like that Facebook shares your political opinions with Politico, but are you really going to delete all the photos, all the posts, all the connections – the presence you’ve spent years establishing on the world’s dominant social network?
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I think if you’re going to do a movie about Reagan, you do it about the fact that he created the huge deficit.
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During the Reagan Administration, Bob Dole was present at a ceremony that included each living ex-president.
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But God told me that He/She/It had actually chosen Al Gore by making sure that Gore won the popular vote and, God thought, the Electoral College. ‘That worked for everyone else,’ God said.
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Our laws need to reflect the evolution of technology and the changing expectations of American society. This is why the Constitution is often called a “living” document.
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Anyone with an Internet connection and a few dollars can obtain personal information they should never have access to, including a user’s date of birth, e-mail address, or estimated income.
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Terrorism, to me, is the use of terror for political purpose.
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Some of my colleagues seem more interested in using every procedural method possible to keep the Senate from doing anything than they are in creating jobs or helping Americans struggling in a difficult economy.
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One thing I’ve noticed about politics is that these guys have pretty thick hides.
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I feel a deep obligation to the men and women who have risked life and limb on our behalf.
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Being a comedian, you’re under pressure. You have to deal with stress and pressure to perform – to deal with pressure without stress.
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My dad was a terrible businessman.
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I know that it’s probably not a good idea for a comedian, especially a satirist, to support a public policy group or a politician.
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The government must give proper weight to both keeping America safe from terrorists and protecting Americans’ privacy.
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When I first started writing for television in the seventies and eighties, the Internet didn’t exist.
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The institutions that we’ve built up over the years to protect our individual privacy rights from the government don’t apply to the private sector.
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Liberals don’t hate America. We love America more than Ann Coulter does. I love it enough to engage my readers honestly.
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That’s bad news for everyone else – and for our democracy itself.
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