Asking the question whether the mainstream media has a liberal or conservative bias is like asking whether al Qaeda uses too much oil in their hummus.
AL FRANKENProgressives, in a way, are the new conservatives. We want to conserve what we fought to build.
More Al Franken Quotes
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If you use a cell phone – as I do – your wireless carrier likely has records about your physical movements going back months, if not years.
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I do have a self-censor; everybody does, or at least most who are not pathological do.
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Some of my colleagues seem more interested in using every procedural method possible to keep the Senate from doing anything than they are in creating jobs or helping Americans struggling in a difficult economy.
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My views about God come from my dad. Dad told me that he believed Nature, which to him included humankind, to be so beautiful, so magnificent, that there had to be something behind it all.
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I’ve never understood why we would want to deny all the joys – and the challenges – of marriage to anyone.
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What you see on the campaign trail is me. It’s easy being me.
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I’m a perfectionist and if I start making changes, I’ll never stop.
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I want a president who can handle a cream soda.
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If I put myself on the ballot and even 50 people voted for me, it’d be a travesty.
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I once asked the most fabulous couple I know, Madonna and Guy Ritchie, how they kept things fresh despite having been married for almost seven months. ‘It’s a job, Al,’ Guy told me. ‘We work at it every day.’
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There is a subset of Democrats who tend to mis-fill out ballots. The way you mark the ballot is like an S.A.T. – you fill in the circle. And the subset of people who tend to, like, put a check there instead, or an X, or fill it out wrong.
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The guy who ran it at first misled pretty much everybody about how much capital we had.
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You see, they love America like a 4-year-old loves his mommy. Liberals love America like grown-ups. To a 4-year-old, everything Mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes Mommy is bad.
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When I first started writing for television in the seventies and eighties, the Internet didn’t exist.
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Apple has long been a leading innovator of mobile technology; I myself own an iPhone.
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One thing I’ve noticed about politics is that these guys have pretty thick hides.
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And the problem with the mainstream media is that it has these other biases that are much more important.
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Minnesota has a proud tradition of having two Senators on the Ag committee – a tradition I’d like very much to continue.
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I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.
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You might not like that Facebook shares your political opinions with Politico, but are you really going to delete all the photos, all the posts, all the connections – the presence you’ve spent years establishing on the world’s dominant social network?
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Veterans report that service dogs help break their isolation. People will often avert their eyes when they see a wounded veteran.
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Too many people don’t protect their smartphones with a password or PIN.
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Service dogs raise their masters’ sense of well-being.
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But adult love means you’re not in denial, and you want the loved one to be the best they can be.
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They had developed all these bad habits of being objective and balanced and stuff like that.
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I’m crushed by the responsibility of writing a satirical book.
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