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Bill Clinton is the greatest president of the 20th century because I played touch football with him.

Al Franken

You can’t change your fingerprints. You have only ten of them. And you leave them on everything you touch; they are definitely not a secret.
AL FRANKEN

Change Definite Everything Fingerprint Leave Secret Touch
If I put myself on the ballot and even 50 people voted for me, it’d be a travesty.
AL FRANKEN

Ballot Even Myself People Travesty Vote
But I think it’s a good thing. Some people thought that it was an odd career arc, but to me it made absolute sense.
AL FRANKEN

Absolute Career Good Made Odd People Sense Some Think
If you want a free email service that doesn’t use your words to target ads to you, you’ll have to figure out how to port years and years of Gmail messages somewhere else, which is about as easy as developing your own free email service.
AL FRANKEN

Develop Else Email Figure Free Gmail Message Out Port Service Somewhere Target Want Word Year
My parents didn’t make a lot of money. My dad was not a high school graduate.
AL FRANKEN

Career Dad Graduate High Lot Money School
The reason I wrote political satire was because I thought it – politics – was important… that public policy was important. Then I transitioned into books, then into radio.
AL FRANKEN

Book Country Important Policy Political Public Transition Wrote
I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog-gone it, people like me.
AL FRANKEN

Dog Enough Gone Like People Small Smart
When you live in New York, one of two things happen – you either become a New Yorker, or you feel more like the place you came from.
AL FRANKEN

Become Country Either Feel Happen Like More Place Thing Two
Liberals don’t hate America. We love America more than Ann Coulter does. I love it enough to engage my readers honestly.
AL FRANKEN

Country Country Love Doe Engage Enough Hate Honestly Liberal Reader
It’s hard for a liberal to go on between Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, because it’s like doing country music after hip-hop. I mean, just, the audience doesn’t go from one to the other.
AL FRANKEN

Audience Between Country Go Hip Hop Liberal Mean Music Other People
The Medicare Part D prescription drug bill, which might be the most corrupt piece of legislation in history, was a huge giveaway of taxpayer funds to the big pharmaceutical companies.
AL FRANKEN

Bill Company Corrupt Drug Giveaway History Huge Legislation Medicare might Most Part Pay Piece Prescription Tax
Love takes attention and work and is the best thing in the world.
AL FRANKEN

Attention Best Love Take Thing Work World
Service dogs raise their masters’ sense of well-being.
AL FRANKEN

Being Dog Master Raise Sense Service Well
I felt like the luckiest kid in the world. And I was. I was growing up middle-class in a time when growing up middle-class in America meant there would be jobs for my parents.
AL FRANKEN

Class Country Grow Job Kid Lucky Middle Parent Time Up World
I’m angry at the right wing media. And by that I don’t mean the media is right wing.
AL FRANKEN

Angry Media Right Wing
I want a president who can handle a cream soda.
AL FRANKEN

Cream Handle President Soda Want
I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.
AL FRANKEN

Aftre Bank Being Die Happen Heaven
Asking the question whether the mainstream media has a liberal or conservative bias is like asking whether al Qaeda uses too much oil in their hummus.
AL FRANKEN

Asking Conservative Human Liberal Like Mainstream Media Much Oil Question Thinking Whether
Tend to be people who didn’t take S.A.T.s, or first-time voters, or people with English as a second language.
AL FRANKEN

English First Language People Second Tend Time Voter
A blogger should have the same ability to find an audience as a media conglomerate.
AL FRANKEN

Ability Audience Blogger Find Media Same
We don’t know how many Russian oligarchs have invested in his business.
AL FRANKEN

Business Country Invest Know Oligarchs
Grown-up love means actually understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad and helping your loved one grow.
AL FRANKEN

Actual Attention Bad Good Growth Help Love Mean Talk Understand
It’s really building Air America that I’m focused on, and for me, that almost only means doing a good show.
AL FRANKEN

Air Almost Build Country Focus Good Mean Only Show
I once asked the most fabulous couple I know, Madonna and Guy Ritchie, how they kept things fresh despite having been married for almost seven months. ‘It’s a job, Al,’ Guy told me. ‘We work at it every day.’
AL FRANKEN

Ask Celebrity Couple Despite Fabulous Fresh Job Kep Month Once Seven Thing
Gary Bauer is a very good – he’s a good friend of mine.
AL FRANKEN

Friend Good Mine People Very
Google’s screen for privacy settings does give you more options for what you share than Apple’s does. But it’s not a complete list, and people aren’t aware of whether or not that information will go to a third party.
AL FRANKEN

Apple Aware Complete Google Information More Option Party People Privacy Screen Setting Share
Looking at a tableau of Ford, Carter and Nixon, Dole said, ‘There they are: Hear No Evil, See No Evil and Evil.’
AL FRANKEN

Hear Look No President

Bill Clinton is the greatest president of the 20th century because I played touch football with him.

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Bill Clinton is the greatest president of the 20th century because I played touch football with him.

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