I know that it’s probably not a good idea for a comedian, especially a satirist, to support a public policy group or a politician.
AL FRANKENWhen you live in New York, one of two things happen – you either become a New Yorker, or you feel more like the place you came from.
More Al Franken Quotes
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You have to love your country like an adult loves somebody, not like a child loves its Mommy. And right-wing Republicans tend to love America like a child loves its Mommy, where everything Mommy does is okay.
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And when you hit him, he runs to the teacher and says, ‘Teacher, sue him.’
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I like the liberal tradition; I like the Hubert Humphrey tradition fighting for civil rights.
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They’re trying to pay for health care and send their kids to college, they’re worried about declining home values, they’re scared for a loved one they have serving in Iraq.
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It’s the Power of the Almighty, the Splendor of Nature, and then you.
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I felt like the luckiest kid in the world. And I was. I was growing up middle-class in a time when growing up middle-class in America meant there would be jobs for my parents.
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As someone who’s spent time with our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan on USO tours and met wounded warriors at Walter Reed and Bethesda,
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That he armed the Mujahideen, that he armed Saddam, that he armed Iran, that he armed two-thirds of the Axis of Evil, and that he funded terrorists in Central America. He was, in my mind, a terrible president.
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It’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.
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Antitrust law isn’t about protecting competing businesses from each other, it’s about protecting competition itself on behalf of the public.
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I anticipate that Apple’s fingerprint reader will in fact make iPhone 5S owners more likely to secure their smartphones.
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We need to be pro-science; we have to go back to science.
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Technology is an incredible tool – it connects people to each other.
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Russia has cultivated an opaque network of patronage across the region that it uses to influence and direct decision- making.
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The Minnesotans I talk to are really concerned about what the future holds for their families.
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Liberals like me love America. We just love America in a different way.
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During the Reagan Administration, Bob Dole was present at a ceremony that included each living ex-president.
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I once asked the most fabulous couple I know, Madonna and Guy Ritchie, how they kept things fresh despite having been married for almost seven months. ‘It’s a job, Al,’ Guy told me. ‘We work at it every day.’
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I’m a bit of a shill for the Clinton Administration, which has its perks. I’m invited to all the inaugural balls.
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Our laws need to reflect the evolution of technology and the changing expectations of American society. This is why the Constitution is often called a “living” document.
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Oh, no, you’re kidding.’ I go, ‘No, I’m really honest.’
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Some of George W. Bush’s friends say that Bush believes God called him to be president during these times of trial.
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My spiritual life is… sometimes I have access to it and sometimes I don’t. When I do have access to it, it’s usually a sense of my understanding what the best course of action or the best thing for me to do.
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Bob Dole used to be really funny. Barney Frank can be kind of funny. Bob Kerrey has a good sense of humor.
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The only job they had, which is to give accurate, objective ratings to financial products.
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Part of the middle class promise is that, after a lifetime of hard work, you’ll be able to retire and enjoy the fruits of that labor.
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