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My spiritual life is… sometimes I have access to it and sometimes I don’t. When I do have access to it, it’s usually a sense of my understanding what the best course of action or the best thing for me to do.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I don’t think I’m an angry person. I think I’m a person who’s angry. I’m angry at the Bush administration;
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Administration Angry Bush Mean Person Think Wall
Looking at a tableau of Ford, Carter and Nixon, Dole said, ‘There they are: Hear No Evil, See No Evil and Evil.’
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Hear Look No President
Love takes attention and work and is the best thing in the world.
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Attention Best Love Take Thing Work World
I’ve spent my entire career being a satirist.
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Career Entire Satirist Spent
I once asked the most fabulous couple I know, Madonna and Guy Ritchie, how they kept things fresh despite having been married for almost seven months. ‘It’s a job, Al,’ Guy told me. ‘We work at it every day.’
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Ask Celebrity Couple Despite Fabulous Fresh Job Kep Month Once Seven Thing
The thing that interests me least about the radio business is the radio business. But I’ve had to learn a little bit about it. It’s not rocket science: You get ratings, that’s good.
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Business Good Interest Least Little Radio Rating Rocket Science Thing
And terror is indiscriminate murder of civilians to make a political point.
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Indiscriminate Make Murder Point Political Terror
National security laws must protect national security. But they must also protect the public trust and preserve the ability of an informed electorate to hold its government to account.
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Account Electorate Government Inform Law Must National Preserve Protect Security Trust
Armed with nothing more than a Facebook user’s phone number and home address.
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Address Arm Facebook Home More Nothing Number Phone
Yeah, but you need an experienced radio veteran who is a liberal advocate. And there just hadn’t been any radio that did that. And so they weren’t trained.
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Advocate Country Experience Liberal Need Radio Stuff Train
I didn’t realize he meant our nation.
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Meant Nation Our Realize
My parents didn’t make a lot of money. My dad was not a high school graduate.
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Career Dad Graduate High Lot Money School
Yeah, we shot ourselves in the foot right out of the gate.
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Feet Foot Gate Guy Ourselves Right Shot Year
The Fourth Amendment doesn’t apply to corporations.
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Amendment Apply Corporation Fourth
I know I have an awful lot to learn from the people of Minnesota.
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Awful Know Learn Lot Minnesota People
I’ve been a producer and led people. Also, being a comedian, you’re under pressure.
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Being Comedian led People Pressure Producer Under
Humor and seriousness are not in opposition to each other.
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Each Other Humor Opposition Seriousness
During the Reagan Administration, Bob Dole was present at a ceremony that included each living ex-president.
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Administration Bob Ceremony Country During Each Evil Include Live Present President
Which is why I think any loving, committed couple — gay or straight — should be able to get married.
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Able Committ Couple Gay Get Love Married Straight Think Why
There’s an element of that that’s either God-given, a talent that you’re not necessarily responsible for.
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Either Element Given God Necessarily Responsible Talent
People lucky enough to live in the vicinity of an industrial hog farm are, with each breath, made keenly aware of the cause of their declining property values.
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Breath Cause Decline Each Enough Farm Hog Industrial Live Lucky People Property Value Vicinity
And I think that being able to make people laugh and write a book that’s funny makes the information go down a lot easier and it makes it a lot more fun to read, easier to understand, and often stronger. So there’s all kinds of advantages to it.
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Book Down Easy Fun Information Laugh Make People Think Understand Write
Progressives, in a way, are the new conservatives. We want to conserve what we fought to build.
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Build Conservative Conserve Fought Progressive Want Way
Asking the question whether the mainstream media has a liberal or conservative bias is like asking whether al Qaeda uses too much oil in their hummus.
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Asking Conservative Human Liberal Like Mainstream Media Much Oil Question Thinking Whether
If you use Facebook – as I do – Facebook in all likelihood has a unique digital file of your face, one that can be as accurate as a fingerprint and that can be used to identify you in a photo of a large crowd.
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Digital Face Facebook Fingerprint Life Likelihood Photo Unique Use
For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.
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Appropriate Downright Funny Joke Offensive Some Thirty-five Understand Writer Wrote Year Years
Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way.
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Human Inspirational Motivational Part Success

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