You can’t change your fingerprints. You have only ten of them. And you leave them on everything you touch; they are definitely not a secret.
AL FRANKENI can assure you, this is not about spying on the American people.
More Al Franken Quotes
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The point is that there is tremendous hypocrisy among the Christian right. And I think that Christian voters should start looking at global warming and extreme poverty as a religious issue that speaks to the culture of life.
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I hope you realize, in a democracy, laughter is assent.
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When you live in New York, one of two things happen – you either become a New Yorker, or you feel more like the place you came from.
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I’ve spent my entire career being a satirist.
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That’s bad news for everyone else – and for our democracy itself.
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But I think it’s a good thing. Some people thought that it was an odd career arc, but to me it made absolute sense.
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As someone who’s spent time with our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan on USO tours and met wounded warriors at Walter Reed and Bethesda,
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My dad loved comedians, especially George Jessel, and he loved Henny Youngman and Buddy Hackett.
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I felt like the luckiest kid in the world. And I was. I was growing up middle-class in a time when growing up middle-class in America meant there would be jobs for my parents.
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My views about God come from my dad. Dad told me that he believed Nature, which to him included humankind, to be so beautiful, so magnificent, that there had to be something behind it all.
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I’ve never understood why we would want to deny all the joys – and the challenges – of marriage to anyone.
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Our laws need to reflect the evolution of technology and the changing expectations of American society. This is why the Constitution is often called a “living” document.
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The nature of the Internet and the importance of net neutrality is that innovation can come from everyone.
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Call-time has renewed my faith in the need for public financing of elections. Call-time is where I as the candidate, sit in a room with my “call-time manager,” and a phone. Then I call people and ask them for money. For hours. Apparently, I’m really good at it.
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Why don’t we focus on what Afghan women can do? They can cook, bear children, and pray. As I recall, that was fine for our grandmothers.
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I also focus on Bush and his administration – who do a lot of lying – and how a right-wing media has allowed them to get away with a lot of stuff that, in a different media environment, they probably wouldn’t be able to get away with.
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creates jobs all over the world, and makes life easier for millions of Americans.
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Comedy to the Senate? Well, there certainly hasn’t been a satirist or a political satirist who’s done that. So, that really was uncharted territory during the campaign.
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The institutions that we’ve built up over the years to protect our individual privacy rights from the government don’t apply to the private sector.
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Whining is anger through a small opening.
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If I put myself on the ballot and even 50 people voted for me, it’d be a travesty.
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We need to be pro-science; we have to go back to science.
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It’s hard for a liberal to go on between Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, because it’s like doing country music after hip-hop. I mean, just, the audience doesn’t go from one to the other.
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They talked about unreasonable searches and seizures, about keeping the government out of their bedrooms.
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Some of my colleagues seem more interested in using every procedural method possible to keep the Senate from doing anything than they are in creating jobs or helping Americans struggling in a difficult economy.
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I think if you’re going to do a movie about Reagan, you do it about the fact that he created the huge deficit.
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