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Love takes attention and work and is the best thing in the world.

Al Franken

Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!
AL FRANKEN

Masturbate Mistake Okay Today Want Written
Good schools for me to prepare myself for a career, and, if I worked hard and played by the rules, a chance for me to do anything I wanted.
AL FRANKEN

Anything Chance Creer Good Hard Play Prepare Rule School Want Work
I don’t know how many of you have been to New York, but if a building is two blocks away from anything, you can’t see it.
AL FRANKEN

Anything Away Been Block Build Country Many
I once asked the most fabulous couple I know, Madonna and Guy Ritchie, how they kept things fresh despite having been married for almost seven months. ‘It’s a job, Al,’ Guy told me. ‘We work at it every day.’
AL FRANKEN

Ask Celebrity Couple Despite Fabulous Fresh Job Kep Month Once Seven Thing
The Freedom of Information Act doesn’t apply to Silicon Valley. And you can’t impeach Google if it breaks its ‘Don’t be evil’ campaign pledge.
AL FRANKEN

Campaign Freedom Google Impeach Information Pledge Silicon Valley
Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government asked me to serve as a fellow at its Shorenstein Center on the Press, Politics, and Public Policy.
AL FRANKEN

Ask Career Center Fellow Government Grow Love Politics Press Public School Serve
I’m sure I’ve devoted enough thought to Rush Limbaugh for one lifetime.
AL FRANKEN

Devote Enough Lifetime People
There is a subset of Democrats who tend to mis-fill out ballots. The way you mark the ballot is like an S.A.T. – you fill in the circle. And the subset of people who tend to, like, put a check there instead, or an X, or fill it out wrong.
AL FRANKEN

Afraid Ballot Check Circle Mis-fill Our People Subset Tend Voter Wrong
This is something I learned only too well years ago when I did a fundraiser for Pol Pot. A few years later I saw ‘The Killing Fields,’ and I’ve got to tell you, I just felt like a schmuck.
AL FRANKEN

Ago Felt Field Fundraiser Kill Learn Saw Schmuck Something Tell Well
I think the government has a role in protecting the fundamental rights of its citizens.
AL FRANKEN

Citizen Fundamental Government Protect Right Role Think
All concluded that Russia did in fact interfere in the 2016 election in order to, quote, help President-elect Trump’s election chances when possible by discrediting Secretary Clinton.
AL FRANKEN

Chance Conclude Country Discraeding Elect Election Fact Help Interfere Order Possible President Quote Secretary
Love takes attention and work and is the best thing in the world.
AL FRANKEN

Attention Best Love Take Thing Work World
Demagoguery sells. And therefore, radio stations will put it on. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t do something else and also make it sell.
AL FRANKEN

Demagoguery Else Mean On Put Radio Sell Something Station
I think Hell exists on Earth. It’s a psychological state, or it can be a physical state.
AL FRANKEN

Bipolar Earth Exist Hell People Physical Psychological State Think
Anybody who deliberately propagandizes with lies should be held up to scorn and ridicule.
AL FRANKEN

Anybody Deliberate Held Lie Ridicule Scorn Should
It’s the Power of the Almighty, the Splendor of Nature, and then you.
AL FRANKEN

Almighty Comedy Nature Power Splendor You
When people talked about protecting their privacy when I was growing up, they were talking about protecting it from the government.
AL FRANKEN

Government Growing People Privacy Protect Talk Up
We owe an historic debt to American Indians. They have a unique set of concerns that haven’t been addressed and I’d like to stand with them. Also, I’d like to get their views on immigration.
AL FRANKEN

Address Concern Country Debt Historic Immigration Indian Like Unique View
It’s hard for a liberal to go on between Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, because it’s like doing country music after hip-hop. I mean, just, the audience doesn’t go from one to the other.
AL FRANKEN

Audience Between Country Go Hip Hop Liberal Mean Music Other People
Service dogs raise their masters’ sense of well-being.
AL FRANKEN

Being Dog Master Raise Sense Service Well
We need an investigation, because we don’t know what Donald Trump owes Russia.
AL FRANKEN

Country Investigate Need Owe President
Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way.
AL FRANKEN

Human Inspirational Motivational Part Success
Bob Dole used to be really funny. Barney Frank can be kind of funny. Bob Kerrey has a good sense of humor.
AL FRANKEN

Be Bob Fun Good Humor Kind Real Sense Use
I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.
AL FRANKEN

Aftre Bank Being Die Happen Heaven
When you live in New York, one of two things happen – you either become a New Yorker, or you feel more like the place you came from.
AL FRANKEN

Become Country Either Feel Happen Like More Place Thing Two
I’m the New York Jew who actually grew up in Minnesota.
AL FRANKEN

Actual Country Grow Up Minnesota
At ‘SNL,’ I wrote political stuff, but I never felt the show should have an axe to grind. But when I left in ’95, I could let my own beliefs out.
AL FRANKEN

Axe Belief Felt Grind Left Out Own Political Snow Stuff Wrote

Love takes attention and work and is the best thing in the world.

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Love takes attention and work and is the best thing in the world.

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