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In my first week as a U.S. senator, I had the privilege of participating in the Supreme Court confirmation hearing for Judge Sonia Sotomayor.

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Oh, no, you’re kidding.’ I go, ‘No, I’m really honest.’
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Asking the question whether the mainstream media has a liberal or conservative bias is like asking whether al Qaeda uses too much oil in their hummus.
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You see, they love America like a 4-year-old loves his mommy. Liberals love America like grown-ups. To a 4-year-old, everything Mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes Mommy is bad.
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I’m from the Vietnam generation. I didn’t serve.
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I’ve spent my entire career being a satirist.
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Career Entire Satirist Spent
Russia has a strategy of creating the conditions that give rise to corruption, then exploiting that corruption to its own benefit.
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Demagoguery sells. And therefore, radio stations will put it on. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t do something else and also make it sell.
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But God told me that He/She/It had actually chosen Al Gore by making sure that Gore won the popular vote and, God thought, the Electoral College. ‘That worked for everyone else,’ God said.
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Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.
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Good schools for me to prepare myself for a career, and, if I worked hard and played by the rules, a chance for me to do anything I wanted.
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Compared to the American public at large, probably a slightly higher percentage of journalists, because of thier enhanced power of discernment, realize they know a gay person or two, and are, therefore, less frightened of them.
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The Republican agenda is a radical vision in which Medicaid is slashed to the bone – in which we start to balance the budget on the backs of, literally, our most vulnerable citizens.
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My dad didn’t graduate from high school, ended up being a printing salesman, probably never made more than $8,000 a year.
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The Founders who crafted our Constitution and Bill of Rights were careful to draft a Constitution of limited powers.
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Comedy to the Senate? Well, there certainly hasn’t been a satirist or a political satirist who’s done that. So, that really was uncharted territory during the campaign.
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There is a subset of Democrats who tend to mis-fill out ballots. The way you mark the ballot is like an S.A.T. – you fill in the circle. And the subset of people who tend to, like, put a check there instead, or an X, or fill it out wrong.
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Afraid Ballot Check Circle Mis-fill Our People Subset Tend Voter Wrong
The thing that interests me least about the radio business is the radio business. But I’ve had to learn a little bit about it. It’s not rocket science: You get ratings, that’s good.
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The civil rights movement was very important in my house, and then Vietnam was very important ’cause there were two boys, so I came of age during a very heated political climate.
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Antitrust law isn’t about protecting competing businesses from each other, it’s about protecting competition itself on behalf of the public.
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We need an investigation, because we don’t know what Donald Trump owes Russia.
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I think Hell exists on Earth. It’s a psychological state, or it can be a physical state.
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Yeah, we shot ourselves in the foot right out of the gate.
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We need to be pro-science; we have to go back to science.
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People lucky enough to live in the vicinity of an industrial hog farm are, with each breath, made keenly aware of the cause of their declining property values.
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At ‘SNL,’ I wrote political stuff, but I never felt the show should have an axe to grind. But when I left in ’95, I could let my own beliefs out.
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When a company is able to establish a dominant market position, consumers lose meaningful choices.
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If someone hacks your password, you can change it – as many times as you want.
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