“Net neutrality has been in place since the very beginning of the Internet.”

During the Reagan Administration, Bob Dole was present at a ceremony that included each living ex-president.

I ask the American people not to fall victim to disinformation. There are no death panels. The Affordable Care Act cuts the deficit.

I hope you realize, in a democracy, laughter is assent.

Tend to be people who didn’t take S.A.T.s, or first-time voters, or people with English as a second language.

Humor and seriousness are not in opposition to each other.

Liberals like me love America. We just love America in a different way.

If 98 out of 100 doctors tell me I’ve got a problem, I should take their advice.

A blogger should have the same ability to find an audience as a media conglomerate.

You see, they love America like a 4-year-old loves his mommy. Liberals love America like grown-ups. To a 4-year-old, everything Mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes Mommy is bad.

The thing that interests me least about the radio business is the radio business. But I’ve had to learn a little bit about it. It’s not rocket science: You get ratings, that’s good.

I just can’t sit still and meditate; that doesn’t kind of work for me. I don’t even know exactly what it means.

I might think they use a little bit too much oil; some people might think it’s a little dry. But the problem with al Qaeda is they want to kill us.

When you win an election, what you really win is a chance to go to work for working families who need a voice in Minnesota.

I once asked the most fabulous couple I know, Madonna and Guy Ritchie, how they kept things fresh despite having been married for almost seven months. ‘It’s a job, Al,’ Guy told me. ‘We work at it every day.’

When people talked about protecting their privacy when I was growing up, they were talking about protecting it from the government.

I wish I had spent more time at the office and less time in prison.