“If I put myself on the ballot and even 50 people voted for me, it’d be a travesty.”

It is my fondest wish that in the fullness of time, the American people will look back on the Franken presidency as something of a mixed bag and not as a complete disaster.

I had a great time working on the movies, both the major movies I’ve done.

You might not like that Facebook shares your political opinions with Politico, but are you really going to delete all the photos, all the posts, all the connections – the presence you’ve spent years establishing on the world’s dominant social network?

But when Americans lack the most basic information about our domestic surveillance programs, they have no way of knowing whether we’re getting that balance right. This lack of transparency is a big problem.

We basically had dinner every night while watching the news, and then we’d discuss it with our parents.

There’s plenty of room for humor in politics, God knows, but it’s a serious business.

Veterans report that service dogs help break their isolation. People will often avert their eyes when they see a wounded veteran.

The reason I wrote political satire was because I thought it – politics – was important… that public policy was important. Then I transitioned into books, then into radio.

The Internet can only work if it’s a truly level playing field. Small businesses should have the same ability to reach customers as powerful corporations.

Google might be doping the horses.

My dad didn’t graduate from high school, ended up being a printing salesman, probably never made more than $8,000 a year.

But adult love means you’re not in denial, and you want the loved one to be the best they can be.

That’s bad news for everyone else – and for our democracy itself.

Net neutrality isn’t a government takeover of the Internet, as many of my Republican colleagues have alleged.

We lived in a two-bedroom, one-bath house in St. Louis Park, Minnesota. We weren’t rich – but we felt secure.

National security laws must protect national security. But they must also protect the public trust and preserve the ability of an informed electorate to hold its government to account.

There is a subset of Democrats who tend to mis-fill out ballots. The way you mark the ballot is like an S.A.T. – you fill in the circle. And the subset of people who tend to, like, put a check there instead, or an X, or fill it out wrong.

I think the elections have gone well, although there is so much insecurity in Iraq. So far during the counting of ballots.

If you have a government that is elected, they need to do the hard work – because if they don’t, they won’t be around the next time the ballot box is open.

If you have a government that is elected, they need to do the hard work — because if they don’t, they won’t be around the next time the ballot box is open.

First rule of politics: you can’t win unless you’re on the ballot. Second rule: If you run, you may lose. And, if you tie, you do not win.

Educate your sons and daughters, send them to school, and show them that beside the cartridge box, the ballot box, and the jury box, you also have the knowledge box.

The ballot is the only safety.

I will cut off this right arm of mine before I will ask for the ballot for the Negro and not for the woman.