“If you look at terrorists, they really have no sense of humor.”

My dad was a terrible businessman.

Well, I think that there’s a value to comedy in and of itself.

I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.

I know that it’s probably not a good idea for a comedian, especially a satirist, to support a public policy group or a politician.

Terrorism, to me, is the use of terror for political purpose.

My mom sold real estate and did it part time.

Progressives, in a way, are the new conservatives. We want to conserve what we fought to build.

It’s hard to have that debate around secret programs authorized by secret legal opinions issued by a secret court. Actually, it’s impossible to have that debate.

I want to reclaim ‘liberal.’ I’m a liberal, and I think most Americans are liberals.

There’s going to have to be investigations, and an independent investigation, into the Trump campaign and the Trump administration’s relationship to Russia.

The Founders who crafted our Constitution and Bill of Rights were careful to draft a Constitution of limited powers.

It’s hard for a liberal to go on between Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, because it’s like doing country music after hip-hop. I mean, just, the audience doesn’t go from one to the other.

I’ve had a great time. I like the people in Hollywood a lot.

Let’s keep the Internet weird. Let’s keep the Internet free.

I feel a deep obligation to the men and women who have risked life and limb on our behalf.

It’s the Power of the Almighty, the Splendor of Nature, and then you.