“For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.”

We need to be pro-science; we have to go back to science.

I think there are all kinds of different hells. It’s not a place you go to after you die.

I don’t think I’m an angry person. I think I’m a person who’s angry. I’m angry at the Bush administration;

I felt like the luckiest kid in the world. And I was. I was growing up middle-class in a time when growing up middle-class in America meant there would be jobs for my parents.

My dad loved comedians, especially George Jessel, and he loved Henny Youngman and Buddy Hackett.

Why don’t we focus on what Afghan women can do? They can cook, bear children, and pray. As I recall, that was fine for our grandmothers.

And terror is indiscriminate murder of civilians to make a political point.

Most people would rather be uncertain some of the time than 100% positive all the time – even when they’re wrong.

Demagoguery sells. And therefore, radio stations will put it on. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t do something else and also make it sell.

One thing I’ve noticed about politics is that these guys have pretty thick hides.

The Medicare Part D prescription drug bill, which might be the most corrupt piece of legislation in history, was a huge giveaway of taxpayer funds to the big pharmaceutical companies.

If you use Facebook – as I do – Facebook in all likelihood has a unique digital file of your face, one that can be as accurate as a fingerprint and that can be used to identify you in a photo of a large crowd.

Service dogs raise their masters’ sense of well-being.

There is – I mean – I found early in life that righteous indignation is a little off-putting, and so I try to couch it with humor.

He [Newt Gingrich] is the most unpopular politician in America. His favorable rating is only four points higher than the Unabomber.

The civil rights movement was very important in my house, and then Vietnam was very important ’cause there were two boys, so I came of age during a very heated political climate.

So that isn’t the concern. You have to do what you can do, and share what you feel is appropriate to share in the moment.

I also understand after meeting with a psychologist that there are other alternative ways of disciplining a child that may be more appropriate.

People in general see galleries and museums as family-appropriate excursions.

There are perfectly appropriate circumstances to unmask the names of people.

It’s really seeing student involvement … as a variety of opportunities that are appropriate for each given student and responsive to their individual needs and their desires for their educational experience.

Mixtape’ is a very appropriate word to include in the title of Goran Hugo Olsson’s film because it includes a rich mixture of cultural voices.

Learn to say ‘I don’t know.’ If used when appropriate, it will be often.

Evacuation centres should let anyone in who has come to evacuate, we will look into the facts and take appropriate measures.