“For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.”

Love takes attention and work and is the best thing in the world.

I’m a bit of a shill for the Clinton Administration, which has its perks. I’m invited to all the inaugural balls.

In our political system, money is power. And that means a few can have a lot more power than the rest.

They’re trying to pay for health care and send their kids to college, they’re worried about declining home values, they’re scared for a loved one they have serving in Iraq.

Medicare was established to secure that promise.

I know I have an awful lot to learn from the people of Minnesota.

Most of us here in the media are what I call infotainers…

Anyone with an Internet connection and a few dollars can obtain personal information they should never have access to, including a user’s date of birth, e-mail address, or estimated income.

My dad never graduated high school. He was a printing salesman.

I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog-gone it, people like me.

I am a Minnesotan, and not just because I root for the Vikings and the Twins. I like the Minnesota-nice sensibility.

We need to be pro-science; we have to go back to science.

I think there are all kinds of different hells. It’s not a place you go to after you die.

I don’t think I’m an angry person. I think I’m a person who’s angry. I’m angry at the Bush administration;

I felt like the luckiest kid in the world. And I was. I was growing up middle-class in a time when growing up middle-class in America meant there would be jobs for my parents.

My dad loved comedians, especially George Jessel, and he loved Henny Youngman and Buddy Hackett.

Life never gives us what we want at the moment that we consider appropriate.

I know that if I could really understand mental illness, then it would be appropriate to make a big career shift.

There are times in all of our lives when a reliance on gut or intuition just seems more appropriate – when a particular course of action just feels right.

Wine is an appropriate article for mankind, both for the healthy body and for the ailing man.

If you believe in your value, how could it possibly be appropriate to hide it from people who need it?

Extreme remedies are very appropriate for extreme diseases.

I like to be able to wear something that is appropriate for wherever the day takes me: to work, on a hike and then out to dinner. I like to take the formality out of the day’s schedule and be ready for any off-road detour.

Billions of dollars are appropriated at the twinkling of an eye. Nothing little counts.