“There’s an element of that that’s either God-given, a talent that you’re not necessarily responsible for.”

I grew up in Minnesota, where we treasure our tradition of civic engagement – and our record of having the nation’s highest voter participation.

I’m angry at the right wing media. And by that I don’t mean the media is right wing.

I’m crushed by the responsibility of writing a satirical book.

It’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.

I’ve spent my entire career being a satirist.

To ask whether the mainstream media has a conservative or liberal bias is like asking whether al-Qaida uses too much oil in their hummus. It’s – I think they might use too much oil in their hummus – but it’s the wrong question.

Oh, no, you’re kidding.’ I go, ‘No, I’m really honest.’

When a company is able to establish a dominant market position, consumers lose meaningful choices.

This is something I learned only too well years ago when I did a fundraiser for Pol Pot. A few years later I saw ‘The Killing Fields,’ and I’ve got to tell you, I just felt like a schmuck.

At ‘SNL,’ I wrote political stuff, but I never felt the show should have an axe to grind. But when I left in ’95, I could let my own beliefs out.

As a source of innovation, an engine of our economy, and a forum for our political discourse.

I don’t know how many of you have been to New York, but if a building is two blocks away from anything, you can’t see it.

If you control the flow of information, you can control the conversation around important issues. If you can control the conversation, you can change this country.

creates jobs all over the world, and makes life easier for millions of Americans.

And when you hit him, he runs to the teacher and says, ‘Teacher, sue him.’

Minnesotans lost their jobs because the credit rating agencies didn’t do the only job they’re supposed to have.

Not one man in a thousand has either strength of mind or goodness of heart to be an Atheist. I repeat it. Not one man in a thousand has either strength of mind or goodness of heart to be an Atheist.

If human beings were shown what they’re really like, they’d either kill one another as vermin, or hang themselves.

I don’t think they [contemporary writers] read me either. I mean, if we’re concerned genuinely with writing, I think we probably get on with our work.

The troublesome ones in a family are usually either the wits or the idiots.

I hate the word ‘cheap’. People are cheap. Clothing is either expensive or inexpensive.

This party is a bit like an old stagecoach. If you drive along at a rapid rate everyone aboard is either so exhilarated or so seasick that you don’t have a lot of difficulty.

The struggle between the two worlds [Fascism and Democracy] can permit no compromises. It’s either Us or Them!

No matter how young you are or how old you have got. Not for kudos and not for cash: your picture in the paper nor money in the back either. Just refuse to bear them.