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I wish I had spent more time at the office and less time in prison.

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Humor and seriousness are not in opposition to each other.
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I want a president who can handle a cream soda.
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Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way.
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Service dogs raise their masters’ sense of well-being.
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There’s plenty of room for humor in politics, God knows, but it’s a serious business.
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I think Clinton fatigue was a real thing. It’s just hard to get comfortable with Gore.
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I just can’t sit still and meditate; that doesn’t kind of work for me. I don’t even know exactly what it means.
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Part of the middle class promise is that, after a lifetime of hard work, you’ll be able to retire and enjoy the fruits of that labor.
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I think Hell exists on Earth. It’s a psychological state, or it can be a physical state.
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When the Constitution was written, the founders had no way of anticipating the new technologies that would evolve in the coming centuries.
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There is – I mean – I found early in life that righteous indignation is a little off-putting, and so I try to couch it with humor.
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People lucky enough to live in the vicinity of an industrial hog farm are, with each breath, made keenly aware of the cause of their declining property values.
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Terrorism, to me, is the use of terror for political purpose.
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In our political system, money is power. And that means a few can have a lot more power than the rest.
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Apple has long been a leading innovator of mobile technology; I myself own an iPhone.
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As someone who’s spent time with our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan on USO tours and met wounded warriors at Walter Reed and Bethesda,
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We don’t know how many Russian oligarchs have invested in his business.
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I felt like the luckiest kid in the world. And I was. I was growing up middle-class in a time when growing up middle-class in America meant there would be jobs for my parents.
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Demagoguery sells. And therefore, radio stations will put it on. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t do something else and also make it sell.
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Anyone with an Internet connection and a few dollars can obtain personal information they should never have access to, including a user’s date of birth, e-mail address, or estimated income.
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I’m sure I’ve devoted enough thought to Rush Limbaugh for one lifetime.
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We need an investigation, because we don’t know what Donald Trump owes Russia.
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The Freedom of Information Act doesn’t apply to Silicon Valley. And you can’t impeach Google if it breaks its ‘Don’t be evil’ campaign pledge.
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Net neutrality isn’t a government takeover of the Internet, as many of my Republican colleagues have alleged.
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Minnesotans know the difference between the job of satirist and the job of senator. And so do I.
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If I put myself on the ballot and even 50 people voted for me, it’d be a travesty.
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All concluded that Russia did in fact interfere in the 2016 election in order to, quote, help President-elect Trump’s election chances when possible by discrediting Secretary Clinton.
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