“During Vietnam, I was in college, enjoying my student deferment. The government wisely felt that, in my case, military service was less important than completing my studies to prepare me for my chosen career: comedian.”

The Minnesotans I talk to are really concerned about what the future holds for their families.

I get satisfaction when I write something I like, when I’m happy with it.

People who have severe mental illness are in Hell. People who have lost a loved one are in Hell.

Bob Dole used to be really funny. Barney Frank can be kind of funny. Bob Kerrey has a good sense of humor.

But when the veteran has a dog, the same people will come up and say, ‘Hi’ to pet the dog and then strike up a conversation.

If someone hacks your password, you can change it – as many times as you want.

There’s an appeal to the American sense of exceptionalism, that we’re morally superior, as way to not be self-critical. I think that’s a bit dangerous.

No one is more sensitive to the issue of overeating than the creator of Stuart Smalley.

The Fourth Amendment doesn’t apply to corporations.

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way.

Technology is an incredible tool – it connects people to each other.

Net neutrality has been in place since the very beginning of the Internet.

We need an investigation, because we don’t know what Donald Trump owes Russia.

There is a subset of Democrats who tend to mis-fill out ballots. The way you mark the ballot is like an S.A.T. – you fill in the circle. And the subset of people who tend to, like, put a check there instead, or an X, or fill it out wrong.

People lucky enough to live in the vicinity of an industrial hog farm are, with each breath, made keenly aware of the cause of their declining property values.

Some of George W. Bush’s friends say that Bush believes God called him to be president during these times of trial.