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I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.

Adam Carolla

I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
ADAM CAROLLA

Bought Count Counting Lazy Normally Vote
If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
ADAM CAROLLA

Absolutely Ever Funny Humor Idea Relationship
That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
ADAM CAROLLA

Forever Funny Humor Interesting Philosophical Question
If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
ADAM CAROLLA

Disappointed Funny Humor Show Sorey Tuning
What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
ADAM CAROLLA

Common Sense Fist Hand Lawyer Sanitizer
If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
ADAM CAROLLA

Beer Bottle Butterfly Chased Idea Sell Water
A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
ADAM CAROLLA

Crisis Dalliance might Paper People Practice Right Truthful
The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.
ADAM CAROLLA

Boom Fast Next Podcast Radio Segment Thing Very
Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
ADAM CAROLLA

Ball Basketball Game Inspirational Playground Ymca
My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
ADAM CAROLLA

History Less Motto Mystery Reveal Suspense
The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why.
ADAM CAROLLA

Aisle Land Leave People Ten Thing View
I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
ADAM CAROLLA

Aisle Feeling Land Side Thing Views
You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
ADAM CAROLLA

Card Control Credit More Much Navigate Pill Realize Sugar Use
Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
ADAM CAROLLA

Air Conservative Country People Place Stories Story Use
When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
ADAM CAROLLA

Arrival Funny Humor Smell Trumpet
There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
ADAM CAROLLA

Card Cue Good Need Pressure Read Reader Ton

I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.

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I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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