Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
ADAM CAROLLAI don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
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If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
ADAM CAROLLA