We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
ADAM CAROLLAI don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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Rich people don’t pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes – they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn’t pay taxes.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
ADAM CAROLLA -
No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
ADAM CAROLLA