And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
ADAM CAROLLAI guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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There’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.
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Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
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I’d never hurt another person.
ADAM CAROLLA






