People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
ADAM CAROLLAI guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn’t imagine it.
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
ADAM CAROLLA