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I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.

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Angry Comically Complaining Laughing People Start

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Welfare is monetary methadone.
ADAM CAROLLA

Heo Methadone Monetary Organisation Welfare
I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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Money Myself Plenty Want Working
When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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Excitement Express Knowledge Radio Show Yourself
Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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Any Form Over Shape Taking Talk Way Weird
I know everything because I know nothing.
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Everything Know Nothing Aware Truth
I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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Enough Good Hurt Hurting Interesting Nice Parent People
No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
ADAM CAROLLA

Book Comedian Comedy Enjoy Fun Read Reader
I am not a good cue card reader.
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Card Cue Feeling Good Positive Reader
When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
ADAM CAROLLA

Arrival Funny Humor Smell Trumpet
[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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Equivalent Fat Giving Government Morning Overwhelmed People Person Sending
My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
ADAM CAROLLA

Government Kind Mom Occasional Participated Welfare
People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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College Look People Smart White
If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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Bird Human Remain Size Street Tax
I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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Favourite Form Freedom Mess Podcast Really
The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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Experience Horrible Job Learned Mean
When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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Christmas Country Dad Feel Instantly Kid Wrong

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