It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
ADAM CAROLLAI don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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I get depressed at airports.
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you’ll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been.
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All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
ADAM CAROLLA