Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
ADAM CAROLLAThere’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
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I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
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