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There’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.

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Agnostic Atheist Away Bigger Cancer Christian Screening Take

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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Finished Funny Humor Masturbatory Pizza Session Two
I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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Art Beautiful Car
I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
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I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
ADAM CAROLLA

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I get depressed at airports.
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Airport Depress Depressed Fear Height Scare Shy

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