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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’

Adam Carolla

When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
ADAM CAROLLA

Insane Mean Million People Smartest Vote
People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
ADAM CAROLLA

Dumb People Stuff Stupid Successful
I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
ADAM CAROLLA

Bought Count Counting Lazy Normally Vote
Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
ADAM CAROLLA

Crapping Experience Explore Life Yourself
You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
ADAM CAROLLA

Club Due Kil Funny Home Humor Sit Wait Yourself
My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
ADAM CAROLLA

Government Kind Mom Occasional Participated Welfare
It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
ADAM CAROLLA

Acclimate Anything Funny Kid
The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
ADAM CAROLLA

Book Creative Reading Teliviosn Truth Watching
I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
ADAM CAROLLA

Desire People Political Some Sort Strong Thinking Wrap
I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
ADAM CAROLLA

Biggest Coffee Soccer Soft Thinking Whatever World
Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
ADAM CAROLLA

Ball Basketball Game Inspirational Playground Ymca
It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I’ve done so much morning radio that I won’t be overwhelmed by it, but it’s still going to be a challenge.
ADAM CAROLLA

Challenge Funnier Morning Reason Water
I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
ADAM CAROLLA

Anybody Attention Ill Money Power Thought Towards Will
He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
ADAM CAROLLA

Done Funny Guy Humor Onesome Threesome
I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
ADAM CAROLLA

Country Differences Drunk Funny Guess Hard Work Humor Worked
I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
ADAM CAROLLA

Ambivalent Camera Cat Enough People Semi

People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’

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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’

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Popular Authors

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