I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
ADAM CAROLLAChicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
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I don’t like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it’s the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they’re pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.
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I’d never hurt another person.
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It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses.
ADAM CAROLLA






