As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
ADAM CAROLLAChicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
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I get depressed at airports.
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.
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Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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