When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
ADAM CAROLLAI am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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I liked radio, or podcasting. I like talking minus the camera and the script part. All those mediums are different, and they are all different with their pluses and minuses.
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that superstitious about it, so I don’t want to take any chances.
ADAM CAROLLA