Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
ADAM CAROLLAMy first car was a motorcycle.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
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Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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I get depressed at airports.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
ADAM CAROLLA