The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
ADAM CAROLLAYou shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
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I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
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I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
ADAM CAROLLA