The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
ADAM CAROLLAYou shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
ADAM CAROLLA






