The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
ADAM CAROLLAWhen I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
ADAM CAROLLA