I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
ADAM CAROLLAI didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
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Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
ADAM CAROLLA