I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
ADAM CAROLLAI didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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There’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
ADAM CAROLLA