I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
ADAM CAROLLAI like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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Rich people don’t pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes – they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn’t pay taxes.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
ADAM CAROLLA