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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.

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Book Comedian Comedy Enjoy Fun Read Reader

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
ADAM CAROLLA

Calm Fine Natural Real Realist Sexist Simple
I know everything because I know nothing.
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Everything Know Nothing Aware Truth
I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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Car Guy Hammer Nut Sort Swinging Turning Wrenching
My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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Government Kind Mom Occasional Participated Welfare
Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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Desire Infused Need Office Passion Patriotism Place Probably Vigor
When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
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Basketball Brother Guy Odd Playing Team Yarmulke
There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
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Card Cue Good Need Pressure Read Reader Ton
Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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Better Emotional Guy Mechanical Stuff Women
I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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Desire People Political Some Sort Strong Thinking Wrap
I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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Finished Funny Humor Masturbatory Pizza Session Two
Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
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Everyone Fiscally Hollywood Leaving Republican Shoot Thinking
People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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College Look People Smart White
[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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Equivalent Fat Giving Government Morning Overwhelmed People Person Sending
And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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Asian Common Country Goal Guttenberg Hispanic Together
A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
ADAM CAROLLA

Chick Guy Mean Money People Successful Thinking
To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
ADAM CAROLLA

Ability Assess Honest Honestly Important More Something Working

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