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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.

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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I’ve done so much morning radio that I won’t be overwhelmed by it, but it’s still going to be a challenge.
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Rich people don’t pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes – they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn’t pay taxes.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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Bought Count Counting Lazy Normally Vote
Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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