I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
ADAM CAROLLANo, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
ADAM CAROLLA -
When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
ADAM CAROLLA -
There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
ADAM CAROLLA -
I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
ADAM CAROLLA -
Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
ADAM CAROLLA -
A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
ADAM CAROLLA -
To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
ADAM CAROLLA