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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.

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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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I get depressed at airports.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
ADAM CAROLLA

Book Comedian Comedy Enjoy Fun Read Reader
Welfare is monetary methadone.
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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