All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
ADAM CAROLLAWhen you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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I’d never hurt another person.
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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
ADAM CAROLLA