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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.

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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you’ll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
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Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
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