If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
ADAM CAROLLAThe reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
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I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
ADAM CAROLLA