If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
ADAM CAROLLAI don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
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Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
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Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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When I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
ADAM CAROLLA