I know everything because I know nothing.
ADAM CAROLLAI don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I’ve done so much morning radio that I won’t be overwhelmed by it, but it’s still going to be a challenge.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
ADAM CAROLLA