The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why.
ADAM CAROLLAI have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
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The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
ADAM CAROLLA