If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
ADAM CAROLLAI have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I’ve done so much morning radio that I won’t be overwhelmed by it, but it’s still going to be a challenge.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
ADAM CAROLLA