I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
ADAM CAROLLAAs I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
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When I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn’t imagine it.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
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I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
ADAM CAROLLA