I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
ADAM CAROLLAAs I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
ADAM CAROLLA