Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
ADAM CAROLLAWe’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
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So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
ADAM CAROLLA