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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

W. C. Fields

Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Myself Time
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself Woman
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food Myself See
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Home Start Time
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS

Fools Inspirational Quit Success Yourself

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

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