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You can’t cheat an honest man.

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Honesty Man Yourself

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Help People Sex Ugly
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
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Children Myself Woman
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
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Himself Mom
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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Believe Empty Food Myself Weird
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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Deep Reality Tragedy
You can’t cheat an honest man.
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Honesty Man Yourself
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
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Hands Life Yourself
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
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Need Quit Stupidity Time
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
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Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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Man Money Poor Rich
I never eat before breakfast.
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Eat Myself One Liner
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
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Food Funny
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
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Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
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Better Sex Worst
I drink therefore I am.
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Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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Expectation Herself Life Man Woman Yourself

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