black
grey
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If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

W. C. Fields

Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food Myself See
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Money Myself Wild Woman
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Home
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

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If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

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