“If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.”

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.

I never met a kid I liked.

Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.

Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

I drink therefore I am.

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.

I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.

If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.

I am very choosy about making event appearances and endorsing brands because, as actors, we have to be very responsible.

I am the friend of peace and mean to preserve it for America so long as I am able. No course of my choosing or of their (nations at war) will lead to war. War can come only by the wilful acts and aggressions of others.

We must rediscover our faith in the future and join with one another to ensure that nonviolence is the prevalent choice for government, law enforcement, the non-profit sector, business, education, media, entertainment, arts, and for the global citizenry.

I don’t understand why it has to be either – or – either socialism or democracy. Why can’t we combine things to get the best of each system?

I am lucky that the Western world chooses me to play roles in their movies an television, whatever language it may be.

Any day can be Monday when you choose to start right.

To be happy, a man must love his wife as she chooses to be loved.

I don’t care if people perceive me as always selling out because I’m doing a studio picture. For me, the whole thing is you should be diverse in your choices; that’s the beauty of being an actor, you should be able to do that.