When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDSIf you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
-
-
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS -
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS -
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS -
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS -
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS -
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS -
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS -
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS -
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. FIELDS -
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS -
Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS