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You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.

W. C. Fields

You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Belief Trust Yourself
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FIELDS

Care Husband Wife
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Help People Sex Ugly
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Advice Age Alcohol Authority Give Up Myself
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself

You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.

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You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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