If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDSIf pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDSI certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDSIf I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDSI spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDSI’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDSWhen life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDSA woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDSStart every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDSThere comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDSI’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDSA rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDSI used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDSThe only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDSThe world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDSAnyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDSDon’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS