“I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.”

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.

I never met a kid I liked.

Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.

Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

I drink therefore I am.

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

In the year 2006, a person can have sufficient intellectual and material resources to build a nuclear bomb and still believe that he will get seventy-two virgins in Paradise.

I have always believed that if you want to achieve anything special in life you have to work, work, and then work some more.

Ask for what you want. Believe that you deserve it, and then allow Life to give it to you.

There are those who believe justice and dignity are reserved only for some people. Young men have died in police custody, and the growing heel of poverty has worn down harder on children of color…We must fight back.

There are no good reasons to believe in god.

I’m a tremendous believer and supporter in hip-hop and rap.

There is no stimulus like that which comes from the consciousness of knowing that others believe in us.

Before we pray that God would fill us, I believe we ought to pray Him to empty us.