Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDSFew things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
-
-
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS -
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS -
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS -
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS -
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS -
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS -
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS -
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS -
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS -
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS -
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS -
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS -
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS -
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS -
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS