black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.

W. C. Fields

If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Belief Trust Yourself
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS

Friendship Life Marriage Necessary Old Relationship
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Live Lost Struggle Travel
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes