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You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

W. C. Fields

You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Live Lost Struggle Travel
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Myself Time
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Attitude Education Important Money Past People Skill
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Belief Trust Yourself
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Myself Perspective Sea
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself Woman
Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Evidence Success Yourself
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time

You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

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You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

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