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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

W. C. Fields

I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Attitude Education Important Money Past People Skill
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Danger Man Place World
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

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