No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDSI don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS -
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS -
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS -
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS -
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. FIELDS -
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS -
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS -
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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I never eat before breakfast.
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS