black
grey
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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

W. C. Fields

Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Home
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Advice Age Alcohol Authority Give Up Myself
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

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