“When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.”

I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.

Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.

I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.

Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.

I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.

I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.

It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.

Feeling peaceful, happy and content is not about avoiding challenges in our life, but about how we navigate through these challenges to reach the type of life we want to live.

Life doesn’t come with an instruction book; that’s why we have fathers.

Live life to the fullest tomorrow may never be.

Despite being in showbiz, I have a very real approach to my life. It plays off with my social life.

Life doesn’t require that we be the best, only that we try our best.

Singleness of purpose is essential for success in life.

Sometimes life is not about what you want to do but what you ought to do.

Be the first to say, “Hello”.