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Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.

W. C. Fields

You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Attitude Education Important Money Past People Skill
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Help People Sex Ugly
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Money Myself Wild Woman
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS

Friendship Life Marriage Necessary Old Relationship
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS

Argument Attitude Myself
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself

Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.

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Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.

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