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I brought you in this world, and I can take you out!

Bill Cosby

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
BILL COSBY

Carry Children End Funny Name
Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.
BILL COSBY

Beautiful Children Love People Sex
I was’nt always black. There was this freckel that just grew and grew.
BILL COSBY

Black Grow Up Myself
I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty, I told her. Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring.
BILL COSBY

Empty Herself Moments Myself Philosophy
As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by survival of the fittest.
BILL COSBY

Children Mom Myself Oneself Past Science Start Young
Nothing I’ve ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.
BILL COSBY

Children Father Joy Myself
Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
BILL COSBY

Afraid Decision Inspirational
All parents experience the same problems.
BILL COSBY

Experience Parents Problem
I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.
BILL COSBY

Children Goodness Ideas Myself Reality Reason Time
Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
BILL COSBY

Children Home Human
You can never give complete authority and overall power to anyone until trust can be proven.
BILL COSBY

Authority Power Trust Yourself
Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you’re pouring, or drinking.
BILL COSBY

Deep Empty Philosophy Yourself
That’s why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.
BILL COSBY

Body Philosophy Science
When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?
BILL COSBY

Deep Dream One Liner Wake Up Yourself
A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.
BILL COSBY

Advice Necessary Stupidity Wisdom Word
Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn’t let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo? Was not In the men’s room, Julie.
BILL COSBY

Fantasy Funny Greatness Oneself Romantic

I brought you in this world, and I can take you out!

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I brought you in this world, and I can take you out!

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